I promised myself that after my cigarettes ran out I would be done. At 7 pm today that moment came to pass. I couldn't even relish it because all I could think about was how this was the last one. Twice I started putting on my shoes to head to the store and buy more, I even made it out the door once before turning around and heading back inside.
I've quit before (or I suppose taken "a break" would be more appropriate). I know I just need to make it about 2 more days and I'll be alright. Even knowing that it will get better tonight is still killer. Every 10 or 15 minutes, I realize I'm missing something and when I stop to figure out what it is I realize my subconscious is trying to trick me into having a cigarette.
I'm using patches but after sweating during my workout the stupid thing fell off. They're about 6 dollars a piece so it's super aggravating. I will pick up a e-cigarette tomorrow, they have a little bit of nicotine in them so if I can't get these patches to work I know I won't be completely destitute.
This is the last time I quit smoking. It's too much work and aggravation. I give anyone who is reading this permission to kick my ass if I ever start again. Better yet break my fingers, it's pretty hard to hold a cigarette with broken fingers (but not my thumbs okay, I'm kind of fond of them).
I think c25k is going to be a lot easier with 2 cigarette free weeks under my belt. T - 17 days!
On a lighter note, while the scale hasn't budged in three days, I had a really great day. I stayed on my calorie budget, got a great burn and my neighbor gave me six giant zucchini's which are going to help me get tons of veggies into my diet for the next few weeks.
-Kate
Week 4 : 18 lbs down, 162 lbs to go
Current Weight : 307 lbs
Start Weight : 327 lbs
Goal Weight : 145 lbs
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